


I want freedom (I want sin)

by reeby10



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Fade to Black, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Nudity, Pre-Canon, Sexual Inexperience, Shame, Shame in Sexual Desires, Sharing a Bed, Uncle/Nephew Incest, Virgin Luke Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22057867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reeby10/pseuds/reeby10
Summary: He was beautiful. Luke thought he might have felt better if he hadn’t thought the same thing many times over, in much more platonic situations.
Relationships: Luke Skywalker/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: New Year's Sins Flash Exchange





	I want freedom (I want sin)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aurae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurae/gifts).



> This can be underage or not, I didn't really specify.
> 
> Title from _Brave New World_ by Aldous Huxley: “But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.”
> 
>  **ETA:** minor edits made 9/22/20

Luke wasn’t sure why he’d caved to Ben’s request to accompany him on this journey. It was probably the eyes, those dark pools that seemed to suck Luke in every time he stared too long into them. Ben probably knew that and used it to his advantage just so he could get off planet for a little while.

Despite such worries, everything had gone smoothly as they travelled to the planet where Luke was to pick up an old Jedi relic from a not so trustworthy contact. Even that had been much easier than expected, due in at least some small part to Ben’s brooding presence at his back. Luke’s contact had wisely decided any sort of confrontation wasn’t worth it.

They’d safely made it across town to find a room for the night. Their pick up would come in the morning, and while Luke didn’t expect anyone to come after them for the artifact — or for either of them — it was best to find somewhere secure.

Unfortunately it seemed there were very few places that would put up off worlders, which they very obviously were. Luke could feel Ben’s annoyance grow as they tried to find a free room. He tried to keep himself calm in response, hoping it would help his nephew mediate his emotions. It never had before, but he always hoped.

Finally they found a room, the planet’s sun long since having fallen below the horizon. There was only one bed in the small room, but by that time Luke was too tired to keep searching. He and Ben could deal with sharing the bed, surely.

Ben started stripping as soon as they entered the room, no longer body shy after sharing a bunkhouse with the other students for so long. Luke turned his back, face already heating at the flash of pale back he’d seen. He began a breathing exercise meant to tamp down on any sort of physical reaction as he stripped to prepare for bed as well.

“Uncle Luke?”

Luke turned to reply, but felt the words catch in his throat. Ben hadn’t just stripped down for bed, he had stripped entirely. Even in the dim light coming into through the one small window in the room, he seemed to glow, dark marks of moles creating constellations across his skin.

He was beautiful. Luke thought he might have felt better if he hadn’t thought the same thing many times over, in much more platonic situations.

“What are you doing, Ben?” Luke asked after clearing his throat. He averted his eyes, trying to get back to the rhythm of the breathing exercise. It wasn’t working very well so far.

“I thought that would be obvious, Uncle Luke,” Ben said, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. His eyes swept over Luke, catching at the erection he was so valiantly trying and failing to keep down. “But perhaps not? We all thought the teachings about rejecting physical connections were overblown, but maybe for you they weren’t. Interesting.”

Luke gritted his teeth, feeling his cheeks heat involuntarily. He’d done his best with his students, but he knew, especially as they became more powerful, that he wouldn’t be able to know everything. This, apparently, was something he’d missed. Right under his own nose, his own nephew engaging in…

“This is inappropriate for many reasons, as I know you’re aware,” Luke managed to get out. He swallowed against the lump in his throat. “Please redress. We can pretend this never happened.”

Ben pouted. He took a step forward, then another, the space between them in the small room shrinking until there were barely inches between them. “But I don’t want to do that,” he breathed out. “And I don’t think you want to either.”

Luke opened his mouth to reply, to stop this farce before it got too far, but he never had a chance. Ben’s mouth pressed against his, desperate and enthusiastic, and somehow still more practiced than Luke would have imagined had he let himself imagine this moment. He wanted to back away, to stop, but he couldn’t make himself do it.

The few kisses he’d shared many years before had never felt like this. And that was how he knew he’d truly lost against this temptation.

***

Luke woke in the morning to bright sunlight streaming through the small window and straight into his eyes. He blinked against it, trying to figure out why he felt so warm and relaxed. Most mornings now he woke chilled by the coldness of the temple stones seeping through his thin sleeping mat.

His eyes widened, the bright light forgotten, as he remembered what he let Ben do last night. What _he_ did last night. He held back a wave of nausea as shame overtook him.

Speaking of, Ben was still asleep beside him in the far too narrow bed. His eyelashes were dark against the paleness of his face, leaving him looking vulnerable and innocent. Luke knew now how wrong that vision was.

Careful not to wake Ben, not wanting to face his shame just quite yet, Luke rolled out of bed and redressed. He kept his back firmly to the bed, focusing with all his might on his breathing exercises. It came easier now, controlling the wash of shame he felt even if it had been unable to prevent it in the first place.

Once dressed, he made his way out of the room. Ben would find him when he woke up, and their ride was not likely to arrive until a few hours later. That would be plenty of time for Luke to get a handle on himself, to push all of those shameful, inappropriate thoughts and feelings to the back of his mind where they belonged. He wouldn’t let them control him again.

He was Ben’s uncle and teacher, and he would continue to be those things to the best of his ability. And that was all. No matter how much either of them might ache for something else.


End file.
